life and loves of kalories

my musings and aphorisms

The Search Isn’t Over March 15, 2009

Filed under: Madness — kalories @ 2:57 am

When you think you found the one thing that you’ve been waiting for and see warning signs that it just might not be the one, what do you do?

Do you wait and see what happens?

Do you enjoy the moment and hope for the best?

Do you take a risk and ask the appropriate questions, knowing at the back of your mind that you won’t like what you would hear?

Or do you just walk away?


Anxious March 3, 2009

Filed under: Madness — kalories @ 11:41 pm

I have so many questions…

Why are all these things happening to me?

What is in store for me?

How will I find my one true love? Will I ever find him?

Why do I always end up losing?

How would I know something is really good for me?

How can I not hurt others?

What is wrong with me? Why doesn’t anyone love me? As in love me, the romantic way? What is wrong with me?

What do I want?

What am I doing to myself? What have I done which has meaning? What is my purpose? Will I ever find it?

Where (and with whom) will I end up (with)?

Where are the answers?

Are my friends experiencing the same things? Asking the same questions? Have they found answers? What are the answers???

It’s one of those days.

I’m having an anxiety attack again. :(


Thank You February 5, 2009

Filed under: Madness,Realizations — kalories @ 12:39 am

Thank you for leaving me.

Because of you, I got to know myself better. Because you left me, I now know my strength – what I am and am not capable of. I have become more resilient, more open, more accepting. I have not stopped believing in love. I still hope for better tomorrows.

I have discovered the joys of simpler things and the mundane miracles that each day brings.

Because you left me, I got to widen my horizons. I met new people – people who are better than you are, way better than you could ever be. People who have learned to appreciate me – unlike you. I am no longer angry. Yes, I may be confused with what I want, who I am and what my goals are. But I am in the process of discovering what has yet to come. I am in my “meantime”. A beautiful place…a journey which has its ups and downs (mostly ups for now!). I am in the process of learning.

Because you dumped me, I have now realized my worth and I know now that you don’t determine who I am. I am me because of me and not because we were once an item.

I may be indifferent towards you and may never have the urge to talk to you again, but still, I am grateful for what happened because things may have been worse.

You are now a mere memory. Although you “happened” for quite a long and important time in my life, you now seem an insignificant part of it – just like a bad experience or a misfortune.

I cannot discount the fact that there was a time when you meant everything to me – you were my world. I felt that you made me happy — but that happiness was misplaced. Looking back, I find myself thinking that you were something wrong or bad for me – just like yosi. I know it’s bad, but I want it or think that I need it.

I seldom feel sad about what happened and I guess it’s a good sign. I may feel lonely at times, but it isn’t because I miss you. I guess I just miss the feeling of being with someone. After all, it was really a long, long time…

Somehow, the pain has eased…

My heart is healing and waiting for the right time and the right man. And though I may get anxious at times, I know now that what happened really did me well and that there are a lot of people who love me more than you ever did or could have.

So, thank you.


january January 25, 2009

Filed under: Realizations,Somethings and Nothings — kalories @ 9:57 am
january is about to end. the start of the year has been a mix of both beautiful and sad and everything in between for me.

so many mistakes. so many pains. so many joys. what a way to start the year.

BUT! i’m promising myself now:

lesser drama. no more flimsy excuses. more gym workouts. less gimiks. more family time. more books to read. less shoes and bags to buy. more travelling. more “me” time. not trusting and mistrusting people. giving others a chance. not believing immediately. not losing hope. keeping my mouth shut.

hiya guys!!! i know it’s been sooooo long…7 months i think, since i last blogged or visited your blogs. i was just dealing with a heartache as you were all aware. :) but i’m okay now (i think i am! hehe). moving forward. bear with me as i will re-post some of my multiply entries muna. to keep you posted of the life i lived while i was dealing with my pain. :) i missed you all blogfwends! hugs!!!

Multiplying My Multiply July 21, 2008

Filed under: Madness,Somethings and Nothings — kalories @ 11:58 am

Hi blog fwends!

I know I haven’t posted for so long. I’m still dealing with certain problems and somehow I can’t seem to post a decent post here. And! He knows about this blog, so he might check it.

That’s why, I post in my multiply site more often. Because it’s there that I get to “talk” with my closest friends; it’s in multiply that I can choose my readers, especially if I want to curse…..nuninuninu…basta!

Anyways, if you do have multiply accounts, do add me up, oki?

I know, I know. This is such a nonsense post. But, really, I promise to post something more decent in the next few weeks – maybe cross-post from my multiply account. Please bear with me!

Thanks so much!! I’ve missed you guys!!! :)


Broken June 15, 2008

Filed under: Madness — kalories @ 1:57 pm

What will you do when someone promises to love you for the rest of your lives and then backs out on you?

How would you feel if he just gives up on your relationship?

How would you feel if you spent more than a decade of loving somebody and he tells you he’s just comfortable being alone?

What would you do if you’re to get married in 6 months and then he suddenly cancels it?

Broken, torn, lost, devastated.

All these emotions or feelings are understatements.

There are no answers for now.

But I know there’s hope.

I know that everything that has happened has a purpose and that HE will not forsake me (unlike you!).


Clutter Free May 14, 2008

Filed under: Realizations,Somethings and Nothings — kalories @ 10:12 am

Today, I just cleaned up my work station. I went thru all the papers scattered on my desk and organized them in the green office folders.

Even if I have so many projects to finish, deadlines to meet, people to call, I just took the time to organize my stuff today. Even if I knew I had to work on the 1 million manuals (na-praning ko just thinking about the work that has to be done!!!) which are due next week, I still didn’t do them.

Pero, somehow, I don’t feel as paranoid about my deadlines now that I have finished clearing up my mess. Somehow, the things I need to do seem easier and less overwhelming.

I think, that, in life, there are certain times that we just have to stop worrying and whining, step back, and start de-cluttering to be able to REFOCUS.

I’m glad I decided to weed out all the unneccessary stuff today. Now, things are clearer.



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